Ballad of a Singed Heart
by Josei no yoru
Summary: After Sirius told Snape about Moony, Sirius wanders outside the castle wards,and meets a Vampire. 20 years later, Harry finds out, christmas before Sirius dies. What originally was a plan to keep him from falling through the veil, ends in forbidden love.
1. Prologue

**BALLAD OF A SINGED HEART**

**By: **Josei no Yoru

**Disclaimer: **Not owning anything. Pretty brittish lady does that.

**Rating: **This will be, in later chapters M rated, because of explicit sexual content.

**Prologue**

**10-04-75**

**SPOV**

James and Remus wouldn't look me in the eye. Neither would Peter, but he just went along with them. How could I betray Remus that way? Hell, _I_ wouldn't look me in the eye after what I'd done. No matter I was angry, no matter Snape had decided to test his new, and painful hex on me. I shouldn't have told him.

I stood up from my place by the lake, wandering into the Forbidden Forest, knowing it by heart, even though darkness was starting to set in. I only realised I had wandered as far as I had, when I felt the gentle tingle of the wards pass over me, leaving me outside of their protection. But it didn't matter, really. There was only the hills and Hogsmeade beyond the forest anyway. Maybe I'd go for a drink…

But my plans were cut short as I was suddenly flung back against a tree, someone or something pinning me there. Black spots danced before my eyes, and sharp pain in my neck made itself known. Then I was free again, and the pain in my neck had lessened, but was still there. I fell to the ground on my knees, lacking the strength to hold myself. Something was pressed against my mouth, hot sweet liquid pouring into my mouth. It was good and I swallowed, and more kept coming. Greedily I sucked on the source of the liquid, my heart pounding in my ears, a moan escaping my lips. Too soon it was gone again, and I whimpered in discomfort, struggling to get back up again, to see, but before I managed to do so, I passed out.

**12-23-96**

**HPOV**

Where on earth could he be? He wasn't in his own room, not in his mother's old room with Buckbeak, not in the study, not in the drawing room, or the library. Trying the next door, which I thought led to the Master Bedroom, I found it ajar. Pushing it open a bit further to look inside, I stopped dead in my tracks. Sirius was there, alright. And so was Remus. But they were locked in an intimate embrace, Sirius' lips on Remus' neck. A small drop of what I realised was blood trickled down Remus' neck from Sirius' mouth. Sirius was drinking Remus' blood. Sirius was a Vampire. My godfather is a Vampire.

I silently closed the door and almost ran back to the room I shared with Ron, completely forgotten what I had wanted to talk about with Padfoot.


	2. I miss you

**BALLAD OF A SINGED HEART**

**By: **Josei no Yoru

**Chapter one: **I miss you.

**10-06-75**

**SPOV**

The first things I became aware of, were the many scents hanging in the air. Potions, dust, _people. Blood. _My throat was on fire. It was the only thing I could think of. I snapped my eyes open and sat up.

"Ah, Mister Black, you've woken at last. I have a few potions for you. Blood replenishing, a simple healing draught, and something for your throat. Here you go." Madame Pomfrey said.

As thirsty as I was, I didn't think of protesting, and, I had to admit, after drinking all tree, I felt somewhat better. A slight burn in my throat remained, but it was manageable, and I could focus on other things. I could hear Madame Pomfrey's breathing, and her heartbeat. Outside the door to the infirmary footsteps were coming closer.

"Professor Dumbledore."

"Mister Black. You've outdone yourself this time." He said with the characteristic twinkle in his eyes. "I am afraid I must tell you, that you have become a Vampire."

**12-26-96**

**HPOV**

Christmas had been a joyful, if hectic affair. I'd gotten the standard Weasley jumper and toffies form Mrs. Weasley, a book on Defence from Hermione, Sweets and pranking items from Ron, and exclusive Skiving Snackbox form the Twins, a book on Martial Arts from Remus, Quidditch gear and a new kit for my broom from Sirius and mismatching socks from Dobby. But what I had seen two days ago did cast somewhat of a shadow on the whole event. It wasn't so much that Sirius was a Vampire, or that he had been sucking Remus' blood, but the fact that he hadn't told me. he hadn't trusted me with his secret, and it hurt.

**10-06-75 (later)**

**SPOV**

A Vampire. I am a Vampire. Somehow it didn't was as much of a shock as it should by. It was nothing less than what I deserved.

"You were found just outside of the wards last morning, after the boys in your dorm told you hadn't been in since dinner." Dumbledore went on.

"What's going to happen now?"

"You are simply going to continue your education."

"But… how?"

"Nobody but you, me, Professors McGonagall and Slughorn and those you choose to tell will know."

"But what about –"

"– Blood? You needn't worry about that just yet. There's a suitable substitute Potion these days."

I was silent. A lot was going to change. I was sure James, Remus and Peter wouldn't want to know me anymore, now I was a Vampire. A monster. There may be some substitute, but I'm a killer by nature now.

"I think you will be able to leave the Infirmary in a week or so, but before that time I'll speak with you again. For now, I have to bid you Goodbye."

"Bye, Professor."

I yawned. Great. I'm nocturnal, now, too. Hopefully I won't need as much sleep as before.

**12-27-96**

**HPOV**

"Harry, we need to talk."

We hadn't quite been avoiding each other, but Sirius and I hadn't been nearly as physically affectionate the last two days as we used to be. I missed it. A lot.

I followed him to his room, and he put on several silencing and locking charms, also preventing Extendable Ears form listening in. I sat on his chair, while he occupied the bed.

"Harry, I…" He started, but paused. "I don't know how to say this, but–" he sighed. "caught your scent outside the Master Bedroom, after we– I…" He folded his legs against his chest, resting his chin on his knees. I'd never seen him looking so fragile. "I– I understand if you don't want to see me anymore, I'll tell Professor Dumbledore you should stay at the Weasleys', or wherever you want, I'll–"

I silenced him with my fingers on his mouth. "It's alright, Padfoot. I'll never love you less because of what you are. It's just– why didn't you tell me? Don't you trust me enough? I'm not a kid, Sirius, I–"

"I know, Harry. I know. I'm sorry. I should have told you. Even if I was on the run, there was plenty of time to tell you last summer." His position on his bed had changed again. Now he was leaning against the headboard cross-legged. I moved to hug him, ending up on his lap.

"I missed this."

"Me, too."

"Sirius?"

"Hm?"

"Can you tell me about Dad again?"

"Well, there was this one time when Filch had been particularly nasty and was just begging for a good prank…"


	3. Blood Tears

**BALLAD OF A SINGED HEART**

**By: Josei no Yoru**

**AN: Yaay, next chapter! ROME was AWESOME! (I've been home for about twelve hours now. I WANNA GO BACK!)  
><strong>

**Chapter two: Blood Tears**

**06-15-97**

**HPOV**

I could see Sirius duck Bellatrix's jet of red light: he was laughing at her.

"Come on, you can do better than that!" He yelled, his voice echoing around the cavernous room.

The second jet of light hit him squarely on the chest. The laughter had not quite died from his face, but his eyes widened in shock. I must have released Neville, as I was jumping down the steps again, pulling out my wand.

It seemed to take Sirius an age to fall: His body curved in a graceful arc as he sank backwards through the ragged veil hanging from the arch. I could see a look of mingled fear and surprise on his once even more handsome face as he fell through the ancient doorway and disappeared behind the veil, which fluttered for a moment as though in a high wind, then fell back into place.

_(AN: This is a part almost directly taken from the novel by J. K. Rowling. I obviously don't own anything. What I did do, __was changing the point of view, and making Harry think Sirius' face handsome. ^^)_

**10-07-75**

**SPOV**

When I woke up again, someone was sitting at my bedside.

"James ? what…?"

"I was worried about you."

"But…"

"You're still my best friend, Padfoot. I may not have forgiven you entirely yet, Mooney sure hasn't, but nothing's gonna change us being brothers. By the way, Madame Pomfrey told me to make you drink this potion as soon as you woke up…"

I was speechless. I took the potion and the burn in my throat diminished somewhat. I moved to hug James, and cried. Yes, I, Sirius Black, Marauder Extraordinaire cried.

Feeling better, I sat back on my bed, wiping away my tears. James gasped. "Padfoot? Why are your tears red?"

"I kind of had an accident a few nights ago."

"What kind of accident?" Worry. He was still worried about me. But my next words would change that for sure.

"I was turned into a Vampire."

"Oh." He sat back on his chair. Yeah. Oh. "That was not what I was expecting – not that I was expecting anything mind you, but…"

"I'll stay out of your way, I–"

"Don't." He put his hand on my shoulder. "Like I said, nothing is gonna change us being brothers."

"I'm a monster, James! I am made to kill, to suck blood!"

"Padfoot. It doesn't matter." He took me in his arms again, and once more I started to sob.

"Thank you. I know I have no right to ask this of you, but, please, don't tell anybody just yet. I'd like to keep it a secret, and since Vampires aren't obliged to register at the ministry…"

"That's alright. I won't tell."

Footsteps approached. "Mister Potter! You're not upsetting my patient, I hope?"

"No, Madame Pomfrey."

"Well, you'd better be off, then. Curfew is in ten minutes."

James left, a smile on both our lips.

"I see you drank your potion. Good. Try to go back to sleep, but don't leave the infirmary if you can't. You're allowed to take a bath if you want to."

I nodded. James' reaction wasn't what I had expected at all. But I was glad, I guess. He hadn't turned his back on me. But he could still realise I was dangerous, and reject me after all.

Not wanting to dwell on unhappy thoughts, I decided to make good on the bath. Heat felt good, I had noticed when touching James' skin, which was a few degrees lower than mine. Allowing myself to relax, I slowly sunk into the water, trying to leave all worries behind.


	4. Sands of Time

**BALLAD OF A SINGED HEART**

**By: Josei no Yoru**

**Autor's note: **Chapter three! Yay! Much Thanks to everyone who subscribed!

**Chapter 3: The sands of Time**

**09-21-97**

**HPOV**

Time had gone by in a blur. Too slowly, and yet very fast. Days had blended together to weeks and now three months. Ron and Hermione were worried, I knew. We'd found out Malfoy was planning something, but I didn't really care. It was like my mind had stopped when Sirius died. Since that moment everything just hurt. At first I hadn't even wanted to mount my Firebolt, a tangible memory of Sirius, but Ron had made me do it anyway. I am glad he did. It doesn't hurt any less when I'm flying, but at least I feel a little closer to him. When I fly, I can pretend to be coping.

I am Quidditch captain of the Gryffindor team now, and we've never done better. Our beaters aren't as brilliant as Fred & George were, but they're good enough. Ron is truly a remarkable keeper, as long as he's got his nerves under control.

Hermione often tells me I should study more, but I can't find myself to care for that, either. But it was during one of her lectures that I voiced my wish first.

"…Harry, you know we have a Charms test in two days, and you've only written ten inches of our two-feet long essay for Snape, and–"

"I wish I could go back in time."

Ron and Hermione were silent, looking at me. in the three weeks that we had been back at school, I had never, not once spoken more than an answer to a question. "Harry, you know you can't." Hermione said. "All the Time-turners were destroyed in the battle of the Department of Mysteries. And even if we did have a Time-turner, they only go back twenty-four hours at most."

"I know, Hermione. But I still wish there was a way."

"Yeah. I know." She said. I don't know if she _really_ knew. But I could tell she wanted me back. The laughing me, not the crying one. I think she caught me actually crying sometimes, too, but if she did, she never made a comment on it. I knew she wrote to Remus because I didn't. I think, that of everyone he understood the relationship Sirius and I had shared best. We had gone as deep as Sirius and my father. We weren't a father and a son, or brothers. Neither were we lovers of any kind. But we had loved each other very much. I'd even go as far as to say I was _in_ love with him. But that doesn't matter now. My Sirius is gone forever.

**10-11-75**

**SPOV**

In the past few days, Dumbledore had come by again, asking me to relay al that had happened the night of the fourth. James had visited a few times, too, but Remus and Peter not. Not that I had expected them to. Madame Pomfrey had told me I could leave today, proven that I'd take the blood-substitute every day, so when I heard James running towards the door, I thought he simply had come to get me for class.

"Padfoot! Dumbledore just announced, there's this new kid! His name is Harry Pullatus, and he's in Gryffindor in our year! Apparently he's here because his guardian was killed in a raid or somesuch, and Dumbledore told us to make him feel at home." James went explaining at ninety miles an hour, while I dressed.

"Have you met him? What is he like?"

"He seems nice enough, if a little withdrawn. You know they say everybody has a twin out there? Well, he's mine. But his eyes are green, and his hair a lot longer."

"Guess I'll see in a bit. Let's go." And we ran off to transfigurations.

**10-10-97**

**HPOV**

I have no Idea how Hermione managed it, or how she got Professor Dumbledore to go along with her plan, but she did. She said she had found a way to travel back in time by other means than a Time-turner. It was quite the obscure method, and there were no guarantees of actually getting back, but if I'd manage to change everything for the better, I wouldn't need to. If Sirius didn't die, I'd never go back in time in the first place. I'd create a Paradox. But I'd think about that later.

With Hermione's, Ron's and Professor Dumbledore's 'good luck' I stepped into the circle drawn on the floor of Dumbledore's office, which was the best place to do this, as it was bound to be empty during Umbridge's reign. I drew the Runic figure on ground inside the circle, and spoke the incantation:

_In tempore me reduce dilectum meum obisse ut __propter rerum emendarem illum_

**A/N: The name I gave Harry is latin, and means Mourner, I thought it fitting, because he's very much mourning Sirius at the moment.**

**Also, the translation for the spell I used is as follows:**

_**Bring me back to the time my beloved died, so I may improve the events for his sake**__**.**_


	5. Hope for the Hopeless

**BALLAD OF A SINGED HEART**

**By: Josei no Yoru****.**

**Author's note: Bit early, this chapter is, but since I am away for the weekend, I decided to post today. I hope this chapter clears up some stuff where I was vague.**

**Chapter 4: Hope for the Hopeless**

**10-10-75**

**HPOV**

The next thing I was aware of, was indeed Professor Dumbledore's office, but it was by no means empty.

"Good afternoon, Mister…?"

"Potter. Harry Potter."

"Ah, yes, I can see the resemblance."

"Sir?"

"One James Potter is attending this school right now. But do tell, How did you manage to cross the wards? Surely no apparition or Portkey. I would have noticed that…"

"Professor – Before I answer – What is the date?"

"It's the tenth of October nineteen-seventy-five."

"Oh. Ah. Um…" Twenty years. I had travelled twenty years instead of five months back in time. I had travelled to the time where Sirius had become a Vampire. And Going back was highly improbable. "Well, Technically, I never crossed the wards. Technically, I never moved…"

"Do explain."

"I travelled in time. I'm from the year nineteen-ninety-six, sir."

"Now that is something I don't see every day. Tell me, how did you manage?"

"I'm not sure of all the mechanics, but it was a runic blood ritual, with a spell in latin."

If the twinkle in his eyes had been absent before, It was now back tenfold. Maybe the Dumbledore of my own time had known I'd end up here, and that's why he'd went along so willingly.

"Do you have some sort of mission, or do you wish to simply follow classes?"

"Well, I had a mission, but I ended up a bit too early…"

"Oh, yes, I suppose that would be a problem. We'll just enroll you under a different name while I try to find a way for you to get back. What name would you like?"

"Harry… Pullatus would be fine." I'd found the name while researching the meaning of the spell to go to the past. It seemed fitting, a reminder of my Godfather while keeping my initials. I'd pick Sirius' name, but it was a bit too well-known.

"Well then, Mr. Pullatus, Welcome to Hogwarts. I don't think I need to tell you that you must not try to change the future. Tomorrow During breakfast I will make the formal announcement. Do you wish to be sorted again, or will you go to your future house?"

"Doesn't matter. I'll be in Gryffindor anyway."

"Gryffindor it is, then. You were homeschooled up till now, and your parents were killed in a Deatheater-raid. You'll be in… Sixth year, I think?"

"Guardian. Not Parents. I never knew my parents. Sixth year is fine." I added as an afterthought. Damn twinkle.

"Guardian, then. I'll lead you to some temporary quarters. Tomorrow morning I will have a trunk ready with what you'll need for the school-year."

"Thank you."

Only later that night it was starting to sink in. I was going to see Sirius again. I was going to meet my parents.

**10-11-75 (later)**

**SPOV**

We reached the Transfigurations classroom just on time. We sat together at the last two available tables in the back. Remus was sitting with the new kid, Harry, and I had to admit, he did look a lot like James. James was taller, but they were both clearly Quidditch players. The few times I could see his face, however, I saw that his features were softer, and he had, unlike James, very kissable rosebud lips. When Transfigurations was finally done, and nearly everyone had made a chair out of their turtle and back, James introduced me.

"Harry!"

"Hello, James."

"Meet Sirius Black. Sirius, this is Harry Pullatus."

"Nice to meet you." He stuck out his hand. I took it with a slight bow.

"It's a pleasure." I said with a grin. Good thing my fangs only show when I'm thirsty.

"I have Care of Magical Creatures next, you?" Harry asked.

"Runes and Arithmancy. We'll meet you for lunch, though, okay?"

He nodded and went off. I liked him. I liked the slight blush on his cheeks when I bowed.

Before I could make my way from Runes to the great hall for lunch, however, I was cornered and dragged into an empty classroom by one very upset werewolf.

"Remus?"

He just stood there, arms crossed and scowling. "Anything you'd like to tell me?"

"Apart from the fact that I'd do anything for you to consider forgiving me?

"Yes. Apart from that. For example why you were in the infirmary for the past week."

I warded the door from eavesdroppers. "I had an accident involving a Vampire just outside of the wards."

"That does explain your smell."

"My smell?"

"You smell like a predator, but neither dead nor alive. I guess you smell undead."

"I haven't even made that kind of distinction between scents yet, but I guess you're right."

"I expect I must keep this silent?"

"No. I can't ask that of you. Let it be your secret to tell." I walked away, leaving a stunned Remus behind me, wondering if I had done the right thing.


	6. Clear as Mud

**Ballad of a Singed Heart**

**By: Josei no Yoru**

**Chapter 5: Clear as Mud**

**10-14-76**

**3rd person's POV**

"I'm not a bloody babysitter, Albus!" the woman said. "I'm a mercenary! An executioner! I'm not going to look after some fledgling brat whose Sire I've killed! He's doing fine, that's what I came for. He'll manage." She was something to behold in her anger, red seeping through in her eyes.

"He seems fine, for now." The old professor said with a look in his eyes that betrayed sadness. "But he needs information and experience I cannot give him. He has never hunted before, and he had recently been disowned by his parents. I worry about him."

"Fine. I'll teach him to hunt. That's all you'll get from me."

The woman left, slamming the door behind her, not seeing the twinkle in the Headmaster's eyes.

"Her heart will be melted yet." He chuckled.

**10-15-76**

**SPOV**

"S-Sirius B-Black?" the first year sounded terrified.

"Yes?" I said, smiling, trying to appease him.

"Professor Dumbledore wishes you in his office at eight this evening."

"Alright. Thank you."

"I wonder what he wants."

"Probably something to do with my toothy problem."

James burst out laughing. Even Remus, with whom I wasn't quite on speaking terms yet, couldn't hide his smile. Peter, who didn't have a clue as to what we were on about, looked to James, who shook his head. But Harry, who couldn't possibly know anything, tried very hard to _hide_ his amusement. Did he know?

**SAME DAY, 20.00.**

**SPOV**

"Ah, Mister Black." Professor Dumbledore greeted me. The woman standing next to him looked at me over her shoulder with a completely emotionless face. She had very long black hair, and was very pale, with light glowing eyes, containing a hint of red. I nodded to the both of them, and the woman gave a curt nod back.

"This is River Morgan. She will help you get used to being a vampire."

"I will tell him what he needs to know. Then I will be gone." River said to the professor. She seemed extremely pissed off at him, but Dumbledore kept smiling. She went herself to me. "I will meet you two nights from now, nine O'clock, entrance hall." She disappeared, leaving only the sound of a slamming door.

"Well, Mister Black, You'd better be in time for that. You are dismissed."

"Thank you." I stood and made to leave.

"Oh, and Mister Black? Do try to get on with her. She makes a powerful ally."

**SAME DAY, 20.10**

**HPOV**

It was good to be away from everybody for a while. Sirius was with Dumbledore, Remus in the library, James at Quidditch practise and I didn't know where Peter was, not that I really cared.

But wandering through the hallways gave me the chance to think, which was nice for a change. The guys were great, truly but _loud_.

It felt weird to be among them. My father seemed to like me alright, and I had the feeling Sirius was hitting on me, but it felt so unreal. Like it was all a dream and nothing really mattered. I finally had the opportunity to meet my parents, and i felt like I should desperately cling to every moment, but it was like time was passing me by while I stood still. I couldn't comprehend the situation, and neither could I adapt to it. I am not Harry Pullatus, yet I go by that name, simply because I needed a name. I'm following the curriculum, only because it is expected, and really what else would I do anyway? The timeline confuses me, do Ron and Hermione worry about me, or has time already sufficiently changed for them to have adapted to it, not remembering how it was before? I don't want to think about what could have happened, or, in my case, will happen. What if I would defeat Voldemort now?

Suddenly I felt a prickling feeling at the back of my neck. Someone was looking at me. I turned around, and saw a woman watching me. Her long black hair and glowing eyes seemed familiar somehow. The woman cocked her head, a curious expression on her face.

"Have we met before?"

'Yes, obviously, since I recognise you.' I thought, but said: "No, I don't think so, madam."

"Hmm, your father then, maybe. No doubt you're a Potter. Goodbye." She said, was gone.

Then I realized what I had recognized her from. She had stormed out during an order meeting in the summer, and when I'd asked Remus about it, he'd said she'd known Sirius. He wouldn't tell more than that. Would she have remembered him? She probably would. But what on earth was she doing here and now? Unless she was a Vampire. Unless she had changed Sirius.

The growling of my stomach ended my musings and i headed downwards again, towards the kitchens.

**SAME DAY, 20.20**

**SPOV**

Confused I started to walk back to Gryffindor tower, but I bumped into someone half along the way.

"Sorry." I said, and walked on.

"Sirius?"

"Yes?" I turned around. It was Harry.

"You okay?"

"Sure." My eyes trailed along his body. I had to admit he was very attractive.

"You finished checking me out?" he asked, blushing. I, too blushed, and looked away.

"Where're you heading?"

"Kitchens. Come with me?"

Could one be hungry and full at the same time? "Sure."

In the kitchens, Harry started to stow himself, but I couldn't stomach anything the Elves brought.

"You sure you're okay?"

Geez, Harry could be just as much of a pig as James sometimes, speaking with his mouth full.

"Bit of a headache. I'll go to Madame Pomfrey later."

"Want me to come with you?"  
>"No need, I'll manage." I got up to leave.<p>

"See you later, then."

I nodded and smiled. Harry gave a brilliant smile back.

Once I was out of the kitchens I broke into a run. What I felt was completely foreign to me. I slid my tongue across my teeth. Fangs. Yet what I felt wasn't quite the thirst I knew. It wasn't a burning feeling in my throat, it was more. It wasn't just about blood. It was about _Harry's _blood.

**A/N: I have been asked by **_**Cherry-Starburst**_** for Harry's reaction on going back in time and seeing his parents. I hope I have bettered that a bit in this chapter. The actual first meeting between Harry and his parents has already occurred, while Sirius still was in the Hospital wing. I would however like your opinions on adding the scene where he meets them from Harry's POV. I'd put it in a flashback, but if I do that I want to be a lot further in the story, where I can give it more significance. **

**By the way, I realise the toothy-part is crap, but I can't come up with a better one. If you do, please tell me!**


	7. Burning

**BALLAD OF A SINGED HEART**

**By: Josei no Yoru.**

**Author's note: I am very sorry for the long wait. Between a test week, laptop troubles (I have a new one now) and a week of sailing, I couldn't update as I would have liked. But before next Friday I want to have updated again once more, and follow my weekly update scheme again on the Sunday after that. Now, on with chapter 6!**

**Chapter 6: Burning**

**10-16-76**

**LUNCH**

**SPOV**

"Sirius? Can I talk to you for a minute, please?"

Harry dragged me into an empty classroom and warded it.

The attraction I felt to him wasn't as bad as yesterday, but it was there. Also it seemed only to occur when I was with Harry alone, or focussed entirely on him.

"Um. I haven't got a clue how to say it, but – I know you're a Vampire."

I swallowed. Great. My life was over. "How?"

"Those fangs kinda give you away." He took a step closer, reaching out and touching my lips with his fingers.

I took a step back. "Please don't tell anyone?" I was hoping beyond hope now.

Two arms circled around my shoulder, engulfing me in a hug. "Now why would I do that?"

"I am dangerous."

"I trust you."

"But…"

"Whatever you're going to say, it doesn't matter to me."

"Why?"

"Like I said, I trust you."

"But–"

"We're going in circles, you to realise?"

"Yes." I gave up. I wasn't going to change his mind, apparently.

We stood there in silence, in our own little world, just hugging.

Until his stomach rumbled. I laughed.

"Come on, let's grab some food."

"Yeah."

**DINNER**

During Lunch, after I had told Sirius I knew about his Vampirism, he was quiet and contemplative. He obviously found it hard to accept the fact that I, practically a stranger knew _and _didn't mind. But gradually during the day, Sirius became his own loud barking self again. And at dinner he insisted on sitting next to me.

I, however, became more and more confused, the longer dinner progressed.

As we were sitting next to each other, our thighs accidentally brushed. But after a while it became less accidental and more often. I was trying to ignore this, until he reached over and his scent engulfed me. He smelled like the cologne I had caught on him before in my own time, together with a hint of old books, and a musky scent that was uniquely and all Sirius.

I blushed, and he moved back, but I was certain his eyes were darker when I looked into them again. I think our thighs were aligned for the rest of the meal.

**HPOV**

**10-17-76**

**20.00**

**SPOV**

When I reached the entrance hall, River was there already, with a scowl on her face.

"Be more punctual next time. We will be hunting. Any questions?"

I was certain I visibly paled. "Do I have to…"

"Kill? Not if you don't want to. But I probably will be."

I nodded.

"Let's go, then." She walked out of the doors and I followed. Instead of following the lawn, she went straight to the forest. About two yards from the trail I stopped dead in my tracks. A creature I'd never seen before on any of the Marauder's nightly escapades stood some twenty feet away from me. It was some kind of winged horse, with black, leather-y skin and its ribs were visible through it.

River, noticing I wasn't following her anymore, turned around, lifting an eyebrow.

"What is that?"

"It's a Thestral. Quite friendly creatures with an amazing sense of direction."

"How come I have never seen them before?"

"Humans see it when they have seen death; when they have seen somebody die. We see them because we are creatures of death. We are natural killers."

"Great to know." I couldn't help but be sarcastic about it.

"You asked." She started walking again, and I followed silently.

"What, no more questions?"

I shrugged. Suddenly I didn't care much anymore. The idea of killing anybody sickened me.

"Sirius?"

We had stopped again. I looked up. She took my shoulders in her hands, looking me straight in the eye.

"You always have a choice, Sirius. Always. You won't be killing as long as long as you don't want to. And if your control slips, I'll be there to stop you." Her voice was soft and had a soothing quality to it, completely different from what it had been before.

I gave her a small smile. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

We didn't stop again as we walked through the forest. We had left the school's wards long behind us, but we weren't going in the direction of Hogsmeade. We weren't exactly following a path, but River seemed to know where we were going. Our way was leading us uphill, and ahead the trees were clearing.

River stopped, and I walked up beside her, leaving the trees behind me. About four feet ahead of us was the edge of the cliff we apparently stood on. Below in the valley a small village spread out, by the looks of it muggle.

"This is where we'll be hunting."

"How are we getting there?" I was puzzled. I couldn't see anything reminiscent of a pathway, and surely we weren't going to climb?

"We climb."

_Oh, Shit._

"Worried about falling?" she said with a smile.

I nodded.

"Don't be. It's not like you'll die if you do. It'll hurt for sure, and you might break some bones, but nothing too serious."

"Thanks. That really makes me feel better." Oh sarcasm again.

"Then just don't fall. Really, it's instinctual."

She walked towards the edge and jumped, turning mid-air. She let herself fall, catching herself with one hand on the edge.

"Come on, what're you waiting for?" River called.

Scraping all my Gryffindor courage together, I followed River's example, and jumped, turning mid-air as I'd seen her do. I gripped with both of my hands the edge of the cliff, so I wouldn't fall. But my body slammed hard against the rocks, and my left hand slipped, my mind dazed because of the pain. I was sorely tempted to just let go with my right hand too, but somewhere I knew that it wouldn't solve matters, but only hurt more.

Slowly, the pain faded a little, and rational thought (well, as rational as ever) came back to me. The wounds and scratches I had obtained pulled together again, leaving my skin with fading pink scars.

"That was incredibly stupid." The scathing remark from River came. "Next time catch yourself with one hand, and use your legs to stop yourself from crashing into the wall."

I looked away, embarrassed. She was right, of course, but I wasn't going to admit that.

"Now climb." And we did climb down. And to my surprise, River had been right about this too; it came naturally to me where to place my hands and feet where they wouldn't slip.

River reached the ground first, waiting for me impatiently. The last few feet I jumped and landed softly on the balls of my feet.

We stood on the edge of grasslands, the village about half a mile ahead.

"We'll be running," River informed me, and took off.

I followed, pushing my legs as fast as they would go. We covered the distance in less than half a minute, and when we reached the first houses, River jumped on the roof. I jumped after her, putting too much force behind it, and landing on the far edge of the roof, nearly losing my balance.

A chuckle on one of the roofs ahead of me told me River took a lot of amusement out of my clumsiness.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it soon."

She led me into a dark alleyway, and started looking me over. I was wearing jeans and a plain hoodie.

"Put up your hood. We mustn't be recognised or remembered." She herself pulled up the hood of her coat as well. I guess we were passable as muggles.

We went into a local pub, sitting in a dark corner in the back, both ordering a whiskey.

"Now, since we have time, do you have any questions?"

"Why do some people smell so… desirable?"

"Some people or just one?"

I blushed. "Just one."

"It means your body is telling you he or she suits you. The more you're with him or her, the more you will desire this person. Body and blood."

"What if I stay away?"

"Don't. it wouldn't happen if the feelings weren't mutual."

"You mean he…?

"Maybe he hasn't noticed it yet, but the feelings are there."

"Is it permanent?"

"No. Even if you decide to turn him, you will probably part after a century or so. It doesn't mean you won't continue to care deeply for him anymore, but we instinctually search for changes to keep ourselves occupied"

"What do you do to keep yourself occupied?"

"I am an executioner. I kill those who break the Vampire Laws."

"We have Laws?"

"They're quite obvious, really. The statute of secrecy applies. Just don't kill too much in one area and stuff. And you don't drink a wizard's blood without consent. Unless it's a deatheater, since the council got pissed off by Voldemort. Really, don't piss off the council."

"What is this council? Who are they? What do they do?"

"It's a group of Old Ones. I'm one of them. We all fulfil a role of some sort. We have schemers, spies or scouts, and executioners, like me."

"How old are you?"

"I haven't really kept count, but I was turned around the reign of Emperor Tiberius, which would make me nearly two-thousand years old."

"Wow. You're older than Hogwarts itself! How –"

Our conversation was rudely interrupted by a shout.

"You cheat!"

"Ah, finally." River whispered enthusiastically to me. "Let's go."

She dragged me out of the bar into the street. Few people, men, were visible, all drunk. River pointed to an extremely intoxicated specimen.

"That one."

"What's with him?"

"You'll be drinking from him."

"Oh. Why him?" I began to panic slightly, and the pitch of my voice was evidence of it.

"He's too drunk to remember anything in the morning, and his hangover will be so bad, that he won't think strangely of any dizzying spells he might experience."

"Okay. How am I going to do this again?"

"It'll come natural. But first we just follow him until we're the only ones in the street."

After two blocks of inconspicuous tracking, River finally deemed us far away enough from aware population. She indicated I should cross the street to his side, making my move.

In that moment, something changed. I could only see the man as prey, and myself as a predator, though I like to think that somewhere in the back of my mind I was disgusted with myself about it.

Having the all clear from River, I jumped on the man's back, causing him to fall. In my blood thirsty haze I latched onto the man's jugular vein, biting down hard. The blood trickled from the puncture wounds. It was heavenly. The coppery taste of it soothed my nerves, and I let go, thriving on instinct alone, and drew another mouthful.

The blood flooded my throat now, as I drank like a human lost in the desert. I could feel the powerful heartbeat, which, I noticed, was so different from my own. But it was slowing down. I drew harder, but to no avail.

Suddenly I was roughly wrenched away from my prey. Full, and strong of the blood I had just consumed, I charged ahead, showing my fangs. I growled, a deep rumbling sound, coming from my chest. But my attacker confused me. She subdued my hands, and tried to catch my eyes with hers.

"Sirius!"

I calmed down a little at the sound of my name.

"Sirius Black!"

I straightened, stopping my struggle.

"Are you with me?"

I nodded.

"Good. Do you realise what just happened?"

I looked behind me, at the unconscious body of my victim. I'd wanted to kill him. I'd longed to take his life by drinking his precious blood. Part of me still wanted it.

I ran. How could I possibly _want _to kill somebody? Maybe I was just like the rest of my family after all. The thought depressed me, but did not diminish the desire to drain my victim of his life.

I leapt onto roofs, and higher buildings, finally looking out over the entire town.

"Sirius?"

River had caught up with me. I turned around. "Yes?" I nearly whispered. My voice was rough, as If I had been screaming with the Cruciatus curse.

"I won't say it'll get better, because that's going to take a long while. But you can try to think of them as people with their own lives and families."

"And if that doesn't help?

"Would you kill your own friends?"

I thought of James, his neck, and sinking my teeth into it, feeling his heart through the blood flooding my throat, but the image came with such pain of loss, and to betray him like that was unthinkable.

"No. I couldn't possibly do that."

"Hold on to that. Hold on very tight to the love and the pain it brings, if you don't want to become a merciless killer."

I tried. It hurt, but the pain of losing James, Remus, Peter, _Harry…_

Tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes, trickling down my cheeks. I wiped them away, and my fingers came back a watery red. But it had worked. The desire to kill had faded, to a nearly nonexistent level.

"Do you feel sated?"

I nodded.

"Then I think we've seen quite enough for one night."

**Author's note: Wow. More than two-thousand words! I hope you all like this chapter, as it was quite difficult to write. I know I didn't make it to post this yesterday, (Stupid decided I couldn't updat anything) but the length of this chapter should make up for it. If I made any mistakes, please notify me on them. Reviews are always welcome!**

**Autor's note .02: To instantly clear up the confusion with Sirius' and Harry's relationship: They are most probably going to be together for far longer than just a few centuries. They will stay together indefinitely. to me, Harry is the exeption to every rule, and Sirius breaks every rule he comes across. So don't worry about them parting.  
><strong>


	8. The Party

**Ballad of a Singed Heart**

**By: Josei no Yoru**

**A/N: All my plans of updating in the holidays have been blown in the wind, unfortunately. It seems stress is my best muse, and holidays don't work so well for that. On the other hand, I have a few new stories, some one-shots, which will soon hit Fanfiction:**

**- The long run. Pairing: James/Sirius**

**- Of Healing Broken Hearts / Toujours Pur (not sure yet). Childfic/Mentorfic, Harry/Sirius**

**- Enemy to reach out a hand. Pairing: Harry/Voldemort**

**Chapter seven: The Party**

**HPOV**

**10-18-78**

I hadn't slept well. During the night I had woken several times, one of them when Sirius finally returned to the dorm, at half past three. I hoped that his first hunt had went well, but I guessed I would find out in the morning.

When I woke again, I was nearly late for breakfast. James, Remus and Peter were already gone, and Sirius had stayed to wake me up.

"Good morning, sleepyhead."

"Good morning to you too. How are you?" I asked, with more meaning than a simple: 'Did you sleep well?'

"Fine, I guess."

His tone was so depressed, I decided not to press the matter.

During breakfast Sirius was absentminded again, to the dismay of James, who was planning a new prank on the Slytherins.

"C'mon Patfoot! What do you think? Plain old dungbombs, or shall we make their robes red and gold for everyone to see but them?"

No reaction.

"Patfoot!"

"Yes?"

"Man, you are out of it! I was asking if we should make the Slytherin's robes Gryffindor colours, invisible only to them."

"Sure, James, whatever you want."

James looked at me. I shrugged.

"I think you need a Party, Patfoot." He said, turning back to Sirius.

"James…"

"I'll go and get the Firewhiskey from Hogsmeade, Harry, would you decorate the dorms a bit? And Pete, you tell Frank and a few girls?" Having received nods so far, he went on to Remus.

"Moony, would you grab some food and butterbeer from the kitchens? And –"

"No."

"What? Please, Remy, Patfoot looks like he really needs it."

"Then that's his own problem. I'm putting up silencing spells."

Remus stood and walked away to get his bookbag from the tower.

Sirius looked more down than ever, doing a very bad job hiding his hurt. "Prongs, I don't think this party is a good idea."

"Of course it is. I'll talk to moony."

"Whatever." Sirius, too, stood up to get his bag from the tower.

"How did all this enmity come about?" I asked James. Even though I knew, it would be highly suspicious to let him know.

"Sirius played a very unfortunate prank, and Remus partly fell victim to it. It nearly killed the greasy git."

"Wow, which one? There's a whole table full of them over there." I said, indicating towards the Slytherins.

James grinned. "The greasiest one, Snape. Or Snivellus, as we call him."

"So that's why he's sending us dirty looks all the time?"

"Part of it, yes. But we, that is, the Marauders, have been on odds with him since we first met him on the train."

I nodded in understanding, and went to get my bookbag also.

**(A/N: this is where I had a mental breakdown. In the four-hundred words I had written nothing of what I had planned had come to pass.)**

The rest of the day, Sirius was incredibly moody, and while James and I did our best to cheer him up, we didn't do much good. In the end, James managed to convince Remus to attend the party that night, but Remus and Sirius still wouldn't look each other in the eye.

**SPOV**

**SAME DAY, AFTER DINNER**

If I had thought last night was bad, truly realizing what I had become, than today had been pure hell. James was convinced I needed a party, and while I would usually jump at such an idea, right now, I couldn't care less. It wouldn't be the same without Moony, and he was dead-set on ignoring me. I simply didn't know how to set it right with him again. I was however glad, that he hadn't spread the word about me being a vampire, and I clung to that as if to a lifeline. Not all hope was lost.

The party would have been good, had I been in the mood, but I were not and simply decided to get smashed. Harry's was about the only company I could stand, and gladly, he chose to sit by me. I couldn't let the opportunity pass me by, now could I?

**HPOV**

I had to admit, my father knew how to throw a party. All of the people there (and there were a lot more than I had originally anticipated; nearly our whole year had come, and even some Hufflepufs and Ravenclaws.) But the reason for this party, Sirius, was very clearly not in the mood. When he had started his sixth glass of Firewhiskey, I decided to go and sit next to him.

"You okay?"

"Sure."

He swallowed the rest of his glass in one go, refilling it and then laying his arm over my shoulders. The Sirius I knew, the old one, the one from my time, certainly was not okay if he'd drunk a bottle of Firewhiskey. Not that I complained about sitting so close to him.

"Sirius?"

"Hmm?"

"Tell me what's wrong. Trust me." It was a hard thing to ask, but I felt he needed to talk about something.

He shook his head. Deciding to use one of his tactics, seduction, I scooted even closer and took his cheek in my hand, turning his head and looking him in his eyes.

"Please?"

He sighed. "It's just…" He hesitated, then started again, looking down. "Last night… It was bad."

"Hunting's bad?" To a Vampire, Blood was supposed to be good… Right?

"Not the hunting per se."

"Tell me, Siri. I want to help."

"Not being able to stop… is bad."

I was silent. I didn't really know what to do, just that I wanted him to feel better. I hugged him close, and he rested his chin on my shoulder. He emptied his seventh glass and let it slip from his fingers, moving his hand to my lower back, pressing me even closer. I was nearly straddling him now, and I blushed heavily.

"I like it when you blush."

I was perplexed. He wasn't even looking at my face. But other than that, I was very pleased with the compliment. "How d'you know I'm blushing?"

"I can feel your cheek heating up against mine. The warmth feels good."

I blushed even more, and pulled back a little to look into his eyes. He looked back, and I was lost in his silvery orbs. So beautiful. His eyes moved, looking at my lips, and I looked at his in return. He licked them, and I looked back into his eyes, unconsciously mirroring his action. He moved closer, looking at my lips again. He tilted his head slightly, and his lips touched mine. I was slightly startled. It felt so good. He moved his lips, and I answered in sort. He tasted of Firewhiskey, but also of something musky and Sirius, like the scent I had caught on him earlier. He opened his mouth and slid his tongue over my lips, and without hesitation, I allowed him in. his intoxicating breath filled my mouth and lungs. I never wanted it to stop. But unfortunately the need to breathe became apparent after a while, and we broke apart. Sirius' eyes were dark, and his fangs slightly elongated.

He laid down, pulling me on top of him, kissing the top of my head when I lay on his chest, hearing his soft but powerful heartbeat. His breathing evened out and he was asleep in seconds.

For me, it took a little longer to fall asleep, but when I finally did, it was without nightmares or heavy feelings clouding my mind, for the first time since the Sirius form my time had fallen through the veil.

**A/N: That's it, Chapter 7! I'm going to do my utmost best to update at least every weekend again. I hope you can forgive me for the lack of updates last weeks.**


End file.
